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Joke of the Day

"Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only 1 hand? because she is moaning with the other."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey. Aged five years and in a barrel."

"I parked in the ""C"" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof."

"I ate a lot. It tasted like cement."

"I'm so proud of my African pen pal friend. He tells me he hasn't had a drink in weeks. I'm so glad, he's staying sober."

"Just watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth."

"I've been using medical marijuana for my bladder issues... My doctor told me to piss or get off the pot."

"A sociopath walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""What do you feel like having?"" ""Nothing."""

"Why did the crab jump out of the water? Because the SeaWeed.."

"I once tried starting a private airline business But it never took off"