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Joke of the Day

"I parked in the ""C"" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof."

"8: ow ow ow ow ow me: what are you doing? 8: looking for my toy me: why don't you turn your light on? 8: i can see in the dark me: carry on"

"I went for a job at NASA yesterday. Everything was going well until they asked me what my ambitions were. I replied, ""The sky's the limit!"" and they told me to fuck off!"

"a jew, a christian, and a muslim walk into a bar in the holyland hey it could happen, just not on a friday, saturday or sunday"

"Apparently I have a black person in my family tree... If you look in my backyard he's still hanging there!"

"I am not racist ... My shadow is black."

"A monk walks up to a hot dog stand he says to the cart owner, ""Make me one with everything."""

"Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now."

"On the holidays I got quite drunk and being responsible decided to take a taxi home It's still in my backyard what do you guys think I should do with it?"

"If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like."