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Joke of the Day

"I just heard that there's going to be a Minecraft movie... ...it's gonna be a blockbuster."

"What did the deaf Canadian say to the American that was talking? Eh?"

"I was on a date with a girl and she said ""did you notice my finger nails?"" And I was like ""yes"" and she was like ""well I have no arms"""

"*points to person jogging outside through the snow* ""Look kids, a lunatic"""

"What breaks when you give it to a twelve year old? Her hips."

"Police officer: what'd you take, you're sweating, shaking and going crazy.... Perp: nothing sir, just searching for The Lord!"

"[Dinosaur Rap Battle] We're gonna win this for sure! ""Wait, what kind of dinosaurs are we again?"" WE'RE RAPTORS! Jesus Christ Owen"

"What's the difference between a Triscuit and a Lesbian?? One is a Snack Cracker and the other is a Crack Snacker!!"

"Green tea reduces weight* *Only if you go and pick the leaves from the mountains yourself."

"I'm not your typical teenage girl. I'm 35 years old."