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Joke of the Day

"[Dinosaur Rap Battle] We're gonna win this for sure! ""Wait, what kind of dinosaurs are we again?"" WE'RE RAPTORS! Jesus Christ Owen"

"What do you call a duck that likes to steal? A Robber Ducky!"

"Has anyone seen the movie ""Constipation""? Oh that's right, it hasn't come out yet. It's probably shit anyway."

"Cheap date idea: cut open a pack of hotdogs & squeeze the juice over your lover's body then summon a peregrine falcon with your mind."

"What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"Why are turtles so grumpy? Because they can't masturbate."

"How do you find will smith in a snow storm? Follow the fresh prints"

"So Boxing Day, its a magical time of year, when companies send you amazing emails with pictures of all the stuff you just brought from them, at half price."

"What kind of dog is a person's best friend? A palmatian!"

"I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven... God's a bit touchy about apples..."