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Joke of the Day
"Juliet: yo I'm dead Romeo: same Juliet: OR AM I..."
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"""They are more afraid of you than you are of them."" -people who know even less about me than they do about bears"
"I recently quit my job at a wind farm... It turns out i'm not a big fan"
"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."
"How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Norris? *All of it.* *All of the wood.*"
"Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies? (Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles"
"ME: Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back? GF: Yep M: [2 hours later] How did he reach the bit between his shoulders?"
"A port-a-potty truck blocked my car in at work so I couldn't leave.. But hey, shit happens."
"What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band? KGBGs"