228327

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."

"I should put my GPA up for adoption. There's no way I can raise it by myself."

"Me: Can I have $5? Mom: What happened to the $5 I gave you in 1998?"

"I got pulled over for running a stop sign. The cop says, ""Didn't you see the stop sign?"" Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

"*filming the Buick commercial with Matthew McConaughey* ""the leather keeps sticking to my back"" ""for the last time Matt keep ur shirt on"""

"Just lean back in your chair and say ""caloric"". It's exhilerating."

"What did the golden male connector said when he plugged himself into the female Sorry, i couldn't resist"

"You kids today with your on demand music don't know the euphoria of hearing your jam come on the radio without the DJ talking over it."

"Confusious say, when one man fishes in another man's well... ...he is likely to catch crabs."

"At the office, my colleague had her computer on with an unsaved document. I looked at her in the eyes and told her I'd tap that s with control."