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Joke of the Day

"How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Norris? *All of it.* *All of the wood.*"

"What does alcohol free beer taste like? Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right."

"My girlfriend is going to leave me... because of my poker addiction... I think she's bluffing."

"I said ""Hi"" to a feminist. The trial is scheduled for tomorrow"

"I'm sorry I can't go out tonight because of the internet."

"What do you call a gay man's ball sack? Mud flaps."

"Son, you're kind of like rapunzel. But instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down."

"I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season."

"A homeless guy just gave me some change. Note to self: When in public, wear pants."

"It's goofy when people pretend to zip their mouth closed to indicate keeping a secret. ""Your secret is well guarded... behind a zipper"""