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Joke of the Day

"Wait...you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel."

"An authoritarian was caught speeding the other day. When asked why he was going so fast he said he, ""put his foot down."""

"A Guy In A Wheel Chair said... A guy in a wheel chair said "" you know what I can't stand"""

"I tried to buy some purfume from a vending machine, But it was out of odour"

"What do you call a group of retards in a sauna? Steamed vegetables."

"Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshiping cats."

"Have you heard about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard"

"You need to log on to the window repair website! I did - but it gave me a pane!"

"Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence. For example: ""Ben is in a hurry"" ""Ben is in a coma"""

"There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are also sharks, giant isopods, oil spills, Flight 370, and Somali pirates."