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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the U2 benefit concert? It was pro bono."

"My wife is divorcing me, apparently she is sick of all my flower puns... I asked her ""Where's this stemming from petal?"""

"How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"

"A man was on an escalator.. When all of a sudden it went very fast. He arrived at the top, turned around and said.. ""well that escalated quickly""."

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"I have a bumper sticker that says ""Honk if you think I'm sexy."" Then I just wait at green lights until I feel better about myself."

"So Donald Trump wakes up in the White House one morning..."

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Rubberto"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry gets to take the train back."

"Me: My weight is up. I really hate winter. Him: Don't be discouraged. You'll bounce back in spring once you shave your legs."