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Joke of the Day

"How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"

"Girl Dance Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"Of course he's a ""jolly"" rancher. He's herding candy. I'd be fucking delightful if that were my job."

"If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive They would eventually find me attractive"

"What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website? REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it."

"My friend once talked me out of jumping off a building with my new homemade glider wings. He said I didnt understand the gravity of the situation."

"Why did God only make one yogi bear He tried to make another but made a boo-boo"

"I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito... Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child."

"I feel bad for men with erectile disfunction, but they all seem to be handling it well. It's like all of them literally can't give a fuck."