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Joke of the Day

"Do you want to know why I called your girlfriend a tractor? Because she's an upgrade to that hoe you had earlier."

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"""millennials are idiots"" - the generation that made a millionaire out of the creator of the pet rock"
"I just turned my iPhone into an iPad simply by holding it closer to my face."
"What do the elderly eat? Dementos"
"Why Trump will win the election? He will use his Trump-card."
"It's all shits and giggles until........ someone giggles and shits"
"Exorcist - The Sequel Have you heard about the sequel to the Exorcist? In the new version, a woman hires the Devil to get a priest out of her son."
"Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist"
"Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""
"A Sober Irishman... ."