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Joke of the Day

"My wife is divorcing me, apparently she is sick of all my flower puns... I asked her ""Where's this stemming from petal?"""

"""I love Justin Bieber"" well I love McDonalds but you dont see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget, do you?"

"I have a really good joke about pussy ... but redditors don't get it."

"Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly."

"Policeman: Why did you crash into that stop sign? Motorist: I was only following orders."

"Whats the difference between a regular horse and a police horse? The police horse has an extra asshole on its back. :>"

"While walking home from the gym... I saw one of my aerospace engineer buddies at Starbucks. He was buried in his work when I walked next to him and asked, ""bruh, do you even lift?"""

"I hear Paris is the bomb this time of year People are just dying to be there"

"I asked the librarian for a book on the Ebola virus. She said, ""It's in Siera Leone at the moment, but it should be here within the next few days!"""

"When someone says Jesus was a virgin ...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?"