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Joke of the Day

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are together in a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. No land in sight. No ships in sight. Who survives? The American people."

"Why was 10 afraid? Because it was in the middle of 9/11"

"I read the terms and conditions."

"If women are looking for a strong man who makes them laugh.. then they are looking for something like a ninja clown."

"Who put semen in the basement? I don't know. That's just the way it's spelled."

"Whats worse than eating 10 oysters out of your girlfriends vagina? Realising you only put 9 in"

"""What do we want?!"" ""TIME TRAVEL!"" ""When do we want it?!"" ""IRRELEVANT!"""

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! My mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage! Dentist: Yes, I can see there's been a cockatoo in there."