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Joke of the Day

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"How do they pick kids for the Make-A-Wish Foundation? Natural selection."

"Fairy tales My granddaughter asked me, ""Do all fairy tales begin with ""Once upon a time?"" I said, no, some begin with ""If elected, I promise to........................"""

"""one Man's trash is other man's treasure"" Isn't the best way to tell your kid that he is adopted. Credits- /u/theone1221"

"I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher... she was cute."

"Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag."

"A reality show for little engines called ""So, You Think You Can?"""

"When people are singing Happy Birthday to me, I have no idea where to look."

"The Cosby Show Comeback The 80's TV series ""The Cosby Show"" is being reprised with Bill Cosby characters name being slightly altered from ""Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable"" to ""Dr. Creep-Dick Fucktable."

"Why did the bicycle fall down? Because it was too tired"