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Joke of the Day
"If you were killed by a cop... ..which store would you want looted in your memory?"
Next Joke
"Buy an aquarium. Don't buy fish. Tell guests there are fish. Enjoy time spent not having to talk to guests while they look for fish."
"Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives..."
"I exclusively use internet explorer to download Google chrome."
"Book Of Tim, 3:13. Behold, the lord said unto them, leave not your nachos unattended for quickly they become the spoils of thieving women."
"Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*"
"At first it was ""Okay"" and then ""ok"" and now ""k"" and soon it will disappear and you'll all regret it."
"Twitter is all fun and games until you get that text asking what that tweet was about."
"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, since he's too short to be an ese."
"What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time? Getting all high and mighty"