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Joke of the Day

"Book Of Tim, 3:13. Behold, the lord said unto them, leave not your nachos unattended for quickly they become the spoils of thieving women."

"Mark Wahlberg has requested a pardon for a crime he committed in 1988. His debut single."

"i made this joke up last week my friends say too soon knock knock who's there chris brown chris brown who who da fuck chris brownn dis ray rice bitch(punch to face) git out the elevator"

"I bet Thor would lose his shit if he knew how many hammers are at Home Depot."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ? Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s"

"What's the difference between USA and USB? One has standards"

"i always struggle using sarcasm with kleptomaniacs they always take things. literally."

"I told my cheating girlfriend I was studying to become a magician And for my first act, I was disappearing out of her life."

"ALADDIN: i can show you the world JASMINE: wat why. do u kno that there are people out there. why do u think we live ina palace. no thank u"

"Eat local. Your neighbor's food."