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Joke of the Day

"I have no idea why these women called me a massaging gymnast All I said was that women belong in the kitchen."

"My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument."

"US disasters and tragedies You'd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds... oh wait..."

"What is faster? Hot or Cold? Hot. Because you can catch a cold."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean....."

"I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane."

"Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens? The SALT talks!"

"My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical."

"When people try to play games with you, simply choose not to play. Unless it's Naked Twister. Never turn down Naked Twister."

"Hooked up with a Medium at a bar last night I think phony was a fake because she didn't see me coming."