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Joke of the Day

"Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens? The SALT talks!"

"I lost my balance on an escalator and fell down the stairs for 2 hours."

"The NSA hired Sarah Palin so she could keep an eye on Edward Snowden"

"Do I feel like crying? HELL YES LET'S DO THIS 'THE FAULT IN OUR STARS'"

"When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul."

"What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him? I've got a golden tinkle in my eye... "

"[on Instagram] I don't really like this picture but, good for this person for still being alive and experiencing things. *likes their pic*"

"Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed? He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep."

"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"

"What is the definition of a Wife? An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done."