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Joke of the Day

"Why do people have sex when they go camping? Because it's fucking in tents!"

"I found a worm on me. And now it's crawling in my skin."

"Wife [returns home] have you eaten Me: have you eaten Wife: are you copying me?! Me: are you copying me Wife: I Love You Me: I already ate"

"I sexually identify with the noble panda; I too have difficulty having sex in a cage surrounded by 800 Chinese people"

"The best place to have a third nipple is on the palm of your hand so when you shake hands with someone you can sue for sexual harassment."

"What does a blonde playing the drums sound like? Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick..."

"Slept with my makeup and now my pillow looks like the shroud of Revlon."

"Is it so wrong to bang on your neighbor's door at 2am and ask them to reset their modem?"

"I can't even imagine how low the self esteem of fat, white women would be if skinny, black guys didn't exist."

"If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants."