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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why I thought Palm Sunday had something to do with masturbation. My apologies to those waiting to use the confessional."

"A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him."

"What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common? Someone didn't pull it out in time."

"This boy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, Is that a fret?"

"Someone stole a NFL playbook, uploaded it to the internet. All the plays were bootlegs."

"After 5 years of marriage. After 5 years of marriage I found out my wife has 2 incomes, hers and mine....."

"What did the clock do when it was hungry? Went back 4 seconds"

"Overheard at the coffee shop: 'i think that guy is listening to our conversation'"

"What's the main difference between a man and a woman? It's what comes to mind when they think of the word facial."

"What brown, steams, and can be found under a piano stool? Beethoven's last movement."