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Joke of the Day

"Chris Christie's name... Is so dumb to me. It's just the male and female version of the same name. Like Eric Erica Daniel Danielle or Bruce Caitlyn"

"What's the most sensitive part of your body when you masturbate? Your ears"

"WIFE: what's going on? ME: [locking the door] I haven't had an apple in 3 days DOCTOR: [outside, stethoscope in hand] I can hear u breathing"

"I like my coffee like I like my men Tall, dark, strong, and inside of me."

"When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business."

"I figured something was fishy with my doctor when he was giving me a rectal exam, but he had both hands on my shoulders."

"a study shows that 40% of Japanese people have cataracts. the other 60% have Mitsubishi's edit: Mitsubishi to be said in best racist Japanese accent"

"How long did Cain beat his brother? As long as he was Abel."

"There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas."