106007

Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who's great at everything? A good-for-nothing."

"Ask your doctor if being a doctor is right for him. Everything isn't about you."

"A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says ""I feel cold."" The ghost lingers for years. The bartender grows despondent, lost."

"""You can hide but you can't run,"" -- Mama tortoise giving the lowdown to her kids"

"Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum? He was just minding his Ps and Qs."

"What do you call an unfriendly American from the 60's? An anti-socialist"

"(Calm down, this isn't a racist joke.) How do you find will smith in a snowstorm? (Not a racist joke!) You look for the fresh prints!"

"When I was a kid growing up in the Cold War, I had nightmares about the Russians. They wrote long novels. And professors made me read them."

"My girlfriend let out a huge sigh during sex then I had to tape back the hole I punctured in her"

"You're not allowed to say ""long story short"" after talking for 30 minutes."