105903

Joke of the Day

"How do you know that peanuts are fattening ? Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?"

"How do they cook a turkey in Russia? They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!"

"A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill."

"Coworker: See you next year. Hahaha Me: Not if you die tonight. Hahaha"

"What do you think of Dracula films? Fangtastic!"

"I accidentally ate too much alphabet soup yesterday and had a huge vowel movement."

"Why was the sterile Grizzly upset? Because he couldn't Bear children."

"So if Lucy died 3.2 million years ago after falling from a tree... ...does that qualify her for a Darwin award?"

"I'd probably be broke by now if there was a website where you could pay to flirt with lobsters"

"My husband asks too many questions. ""Who is Steve?"" ""Why does he call all the time?"" ""What's this bill for a hotel room?"""