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Joke of the Day
"I accidentally ate too much alphabet soup yesterday and had a huge vowel movement."
Next Joke
"*spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* ""Just take off the mittens"" MY HANDS ARE COLD"
"There's something about pressing F5... Thats just so refreshing"
"Did you hear about the robot that was angrier than half of the other robots? It was in mean median mode."
"*desperately tries to get screaming newborn daughter latched onto my nipple* hmmmm. she must not realize I'm a feminist"
"There are two things in this world that smell like fish. And one of them is fish."
"Why did the gay man dress so well? He didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing"
"Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves... Apparently they are a choking hazard."
"People are not giving Trump enough credit from last nights debate He just beat off two guys at the same time on national TV"
"When things go wrong, what can you always count on? Your fingers."