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Joke of the Day

"So if Lucy died 3.2 million years ago after falling from a tree... ...does that qualify her for a Darwin award?"

"Why won't a witch wear a flat cap? Because there's no point in it."

"nice try walmart, like im gonna spend $20 on a skeleton mask when i could easily just peel the flesh and muscle off my face for free"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art."

"The US is waking up to news of Brexit 'Vote Leave' win... Bill Clinton leads 'BJ for Prime Minister' calls."

"Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don't get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case..."

"What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all ""I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."""

"Why was Beethoven making a lot of money? His property was Fur Elise"

"I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you."

"WOLVERINE'S DAD: Son do you know why I named you Wolverine WOLVERINE: No, father WOLVERINE'S DAD: It is because my name is Wolverine's Dad"