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Joke of the Day
"Spent the entire day trying not to look at porn... It was so hard."
Next Joke
"What did one snail say to the other? Nothing. They were both decoys."
"How does one sink, that which floats? How does one sync, that which floats? Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats."
"[campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]"
"Does the circle of life... become a sphere in 3D?"
"You know what they say about location in real estate? Not much but they say it three times."
"What do you get when eating toast in bed? Un-crumb-fortable"
"""I'm sorry, it's just who I am."" = ""I am a giant asshole and have no plans of improving myself as a human."""
"[at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom"
"What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? A Yoghurt's got culture!"