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Joke of the Day
"Today it was so cold in the morning that.. I saw a democrat with his hand in his own pocket."
Next Joke
"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"
"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"
"Do NOT lower your standards to ""keep"" anyone. Make them meet you at YOUR level. Self respect is power."
"What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him? ""Hey! You did that on porpoise!"""
"How do you turn a bunk bed into two regular beds? You debunk it."
"Every time I notice some loser has deleted me for being totally awesome, I wish that the small Asian from ""The Hangover"" would pop up on their screen and scream, ""Tooood-a-loooo muthaf$ckaaaaasss!"""
"I'm not racist. I treat everybody like they're black."
"Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you."
"There once was a man from Nantucket... ...who started a poem then said ""fuck it."""