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Joke of the Day

"Every time I notice some loser has deleted me for being totally awesome, I wish that the small Asian from ""The Hangover"" would pop up on their screen and scream, ""Tooood-a-loooo muthaf$ckaaaaasss!"""

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"After I have sex, I like my women how I like my mailbox outside my house"
"Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license? He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh."
"What do computers snack on? micro chips"
"What does the secret service man say to the other secret service man when he has to go to the bathroom? Hold on I have to take Obama to the White house."
"Donald Trump, his publicist, and his ghostwriter walk into a bar... ""So you're alone tonight, Donnie?"""
"""One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service"" - Abraham LinkedIn"
"What does a redneck say after sex? Thanks, sis."
"What did the optometrist give Helium? A pair of noble glasses"
"A three-legged dog sits down at the bar Orders a whiskey. Bartender asks,""What brings you to these parts?"" Dog responds,""Lookin for the sonofabitch who shot my paw.'"