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Joke of the Day
"When pearl jam comes on and you're like... It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"
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"How many police chefs does it take to beat an egg None, the little brown bastard accidentally fell down the stairs."
"Obama is the epitome of why Americans are so racist Just another soon-to-be unemployed black man, evicted from his house, and living on government money."
"who said i can't tell the difference between humans and fruit? are you bananas"
"If you are reading this you are probably not blind."
"A young man knocks on the door of his Girlfriend, who lives with her parents... Her dad opens the door. ""Good day, Sir. My name is Tobias, I am here to fuck your daugther."" ""To WHAT??? ""Tobias."""
"I wouldn't trust atoms if I were you. They make up everything."
"Don't care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you're male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut."
"Who is the most popular guy in a swingers' club? The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands. Who's the most popular woman? The one who can get the last one without using hers."
"How do hipsters buy their drugs? by the instagram."