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Joke of the Day

"The French military suffered a major loss today... Their largest white flag factory burned to the ground."

"Why did Chris Christie endorse Donald Trump? Christie wants the highest cabinet position possible because he knows - the higher cabinet is where they keep all the cookies!"

"I once had a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing."

"Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? He was drinking on the job."

"Pro Tip: You can slap anybody, as hard as you want, as long as you yell ""spider"" first. They may even thank you."

"Two blonds were driving to disneyland. The sign said: Disney left.. So they started crying and headed home."

"A mexican boy in english class... A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched ""WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"" To which he replied, ""writing an ese"""

"Why did the turkey cross the road Her didn't want to end up near the sides. PS, happy thanksgiving"

"What is the name of a bag pipe band that likes to play while jumping on squares? hopscotts."

"[airplane intercom] good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking why did you leave without me"