105007

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Tardy count for a school of water bears? A tardigrade!"

"Shut up & eat. There are people starving in Abercrombie & Fitch."

"Why I don't like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because."

"Why is it hard to break up with a Japenese girl? ...you have to drop the bomb twice in order for her to get it."

"What did the red dog say to the blue dog? Nothing, dogs can't speak."

"Just landed at LaGuardia lol JFK"

"Saw a friend really drunk last night so I took his car keys from him. Felt good, he was so drunk I doubt he remembers who stole his car"

"proud of my upstairs neighbors for finally pulling it together and working up the energy to vacuum every inch of their place at 10:27 pm"

"Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory? All he did was take a day off."

"I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!'"