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Joke of the Day

"Saw a friend really drunk last night so I took his car keys from him. Felt good, he was so drunk I doubt he remembers who stole his car"

"How do epileptics keep fit? With strobe lights."

"Scientists confirm the human body is 75% water, still unclear what the other 25% is, ""spaghetti we think"" says one scientist"

"If you ever need anything, just ask. But also, please never need anything."

"What did the cat say to the prison guard? Let MEOOWWWWTTTT!!!!"

"Your heart cannot be an American Hero Because I am going to capture it"

"How do black people like their eggs? Poached"

"Why did the midget get kicked out of the putt putt course? because he wanted to play minijerkoff."

"If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?"

"I like my pizza like I like my women Absolutely no pubic hair."