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Joke of the Day

"How was your trip to Israel? This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty ""in tents""."

"Decided to stop partying at friends houses who have toddlers... Those childproof bathroom doorknobs are absolutely hell to open while drunk."

"Knock knock Who's there? YOUR MOM'S VAGINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""... What's the opposite of progress?"

"Horses are the most negative animals... ...they are such neigh-sayers"

"My sense of humor is so sophisticated... ...it's not even funny."

"Did you hear about the fight in the bathroom? Shit went down"

"Did you hear the one about the gang that's throwing eggs at people and kicking their asses? No Yolks but that enough about the Beaters"

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too."

"Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine doctor. Doctor: Oh really? Mary: Yes she tries to prevent me from making her take it!"