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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads."

"I find that women in nightclubs are like toilets in nightclubs They're either engaged or vacant and some of them are disabled"

"What do you call a French bathroom with a bomb in it? Linoleum Blownapart"

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a bucket of cow manure? the bucket"

"God made me an atheist Who are you to question his Wisdom."

"I wish there was a Mormon version of The Bachelor. That way none of the women would have to be eliminated."

"I give it two weeks before Jay Leno starts tweeting from the new @ConanOBrienTwitter account."

"Harambe walks into a bar. Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"The other day I was almost arrested for mooning. Public indecency, my ass."

"Why do vampires drink virgin blood? If you were going to eat a sandwich, you would enjoy it more knowing no one had fucked it"