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Joke of the Day

"I give it two weeks before Jay Leno starts tweeting from the new @ConanOBrienTwitter account."

"so this cargo of brain transplants went missing and... uh... ... ah shit... lost my train of thought"

"What do you call an uncertain insect today? A May bee."

"What do you call it when you wake up with a boner and wait till you go limp to urinate? Atro-Pee"

"Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!"

"What company did the Nazis use to move the Jews to concentration camps? Jew-Haul"

"What do you call a racist police dog? A KKK-9"

"How do you hide an elephant in a fridge? You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away."

"Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know."

"I wrote on my stereo in marker that this is the loudest stereo of all time. I was stereotyping"