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Joke of the Day
"If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?"
Next Joke
"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel."
"Redditors screaming REPOST!! at everything are like grandparents. Just that they don't even seem to *like* the 'good old days'."
"""Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?"" ""Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"""
"Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a Salmon under his arm and says, ""Do you sell fish cakes here?"" Bartender: No we don't. Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday."
"As my friend Joe's last wish I had him cremated and sprinkled his ashes into the coffee pots at work..all morning everyone had a cup of Joe"
"And the Lord said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But, John came in fifth and won a toaster."
"After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions."
"Just gave a homeless man $5 because I know what it's like to be sober."
"A lier, crook, and murderer walks into a bar.... The bartender asks, ""What'll it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""