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Joke of the Day

"A lier, crook, and murderer walks into a bar.... The bartender asks, ""What'll it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""

"Haikus have three lines Sometimes they don't make much sense Refrigerator."

"Almost done with my peanut butter & jelly sandwich and I now notice the bread is covered in mold, If you need me I'll be bathing in bleach."

"My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids. But I laugh more."

"Dustin Diamond aka 'Screech' arrested for bar stabbing... Will he be, '""Saved by the Bail""?"

"What's the craziest type of bread? Banana Nut Bread!"

"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"How do you tell if your gas station attendant is a former porn star? Right before he finishes pumping your gas he takes it out and sprays it all over your car"

"Did you know that Erwin Schrodinger's funeral was closed casket? He was buried (|Dead> + |Alive>) / sqrt(2)"

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."