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Joke of the Day
"Just gave a homeless man $5 because I know what it's like to be sober."
Next Joke
"10 years ago, if you would've told me that I'd be having a daughter at 28, I would've murdered you for being a robot from the future."
"What does Hitler's asshole and the 7 dwarves have in common? They both enjoy Mein Shaft"
"What do you do to an Elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the Rhino."
"Translator: We changed the Bible verses forbidding happy marriage to say gay marriage. King James: Same thing, what could possibly go wrong?"
"What happens to criminal photons? They get put in prism!"
"I keep making jokes about my dads new Thai bride. He's getting pretty sick of them. My dads getting sick of them too."
"Why dont blind people skydive? because it scares the shit out of their dogs."
"ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*"
"What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun? As far away as possible. *cough* shameful *cough*"