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Joke of the Day
"Me: I like that... Me: *looks at price tag* .... Me: I don't like that anymore."
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"Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio. Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown."
"Let's have phone sex over walkie talkies. ""Bend over."" ""Bend what? Over."""
"A Priest, an alcoholic and a Paedophile, walk in to a bar. He buys a drink."
"I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you. But sometimes I put both my legs in the same pant leg and pretend I'm a mermaid."
"You know what my new year's resolution is? 1680x1050"
"ladies, please don't call me your 'brother' 1. we did not come out of the same vagina 2. odds are i'm trying to get into yours"
"Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched."
"How did the Reddit user read his newspaper? <ORIGINAL> He Reddit"
"Two bitches walk into a bar. The bartender says there's a collar for both of you."