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Joke of the Day
"Me: I like that... Me: *looks at price tag* .... Me: I don't like that anymore."
Next Joke
"First date with a hummingbird: You're moving too fast."
"Hitting on women is like doing Parkour.. I can't do Parkour."
"So I've been trying to sell my Ubermensch Action Figures... But it's difficult to cater to such a Nietszche Market."
"[God creating me] And then we sprinkle in just a touch of anxiety [the lid pops off and the whole jar spills in] [God shrugs] He'll be fine"
"[In Court] Does the Defense have any last words? *defense rises* DE-FENSE *Judge holds up picket fence* DE-FENSE *Jury starts The Wave*"
"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leopard!"
"I've messed up, I'm gonna be arrested for crimes against light... I'm gonna be sent to the state prism!"
"What is the only planet you can visit on Earth? Ur anus"
"Why was the Amish girl kicked out of her community? Too Mennonite"