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Joke of the Day

"How did the Jewish alcoholic survive The Prohibition? He-brewed."

"Rihanna was asked; ""why do you think Chris Brown was denied a visa in Australia?"" She replied: ""Beats the hell outta me"" Edit: holy shit front page, thanks guys"

"TIFU Up is my horse"

"I had a one-night-stand with a Bernie supporter. I know because I can feel the bern."

"Pilots will get this. RETARD! RETARD!"

"The cops found pot on Willie Nelson's tour bus. In other news, water is wet."

"I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them ""Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."""

"What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA? The former has a cunning array of stunts"

"Our youngest has finally graduated from baby bottles to 2-liters of soda."

"Police commissioner, do we have any leads in the Trump assassination case? It's too early to tell, but we have reason to believe the gun belonged to Gov. Jeb Bush"