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Joke of the Day

"I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them ""Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."""

Next Joke
 
"You hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in there..."
"I bought some vinyl cleaner, just for the record."
"i know we have cell phones and the internet, but i kinda expected the world to look like Tron by now."
"After weeks of being called lazy, not only did I put up all our Christmas decorations today, I also took them down."
"What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed? An under cover cop."
"""I'm happy with who I am, sure. But I'm not gonna go around calling myself ""great"" like some of these jerks."" --humble white shark."
"Bro Transformers are real! Haven't you seen a big truck or a camaro? They are real. They just hide real good like chewbacca. And batman."
"Would u watch a movie about a teenage boy who screams ""I wish I was dead,"" but God hears ""Deb,"" so he turns into his 50-yr old neighbor Deb?"
"What do you call a fanny on a fanny on a fanny? A block of flaps"