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Joke of the Day
"Our youngest has finally graduated from baby bottles to 2-liters of soda."
Next Joke
"""You're a ten?"" ""On the PH scale, Cuz you basic."""
"what do you call a gathering of nuns a convent-tion"
"A local grocery bagger has been bagging cola on top of bread. Many were concerned that their bread would be flattened. His response to their concerns was ""It's fine. They're soft drinks"""
"My son asked me to get a tartan shirt for his birthday. So far I've only got him the prostitute."
"Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant? Because he was Messi"
"Why do men, on average, die before women? Because they want to."
"A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools."
"You're the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work."
"Are you a pinky toe? Cause I'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my house"