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Joke of the Day

"Something came in the mail today deez nuts"

"Why is the upcoming Windows OS called Windows 10? Because 7 ate 9..."

"Friend: *singing along* But I'm a creep. I'm a widow. Me: Weirdo. Friend: Sorry, I'll stop. Me: No, he says...yeah okay, thanks."

"Super joke! Leaps over your head in a single bound! Which is impressive, considering it's always in the clouds..."

"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me when she texted me saying ""I'm out for dinner with my friend Emma"" because Emma was lying beside me in bed"

"Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency? So the men can think of a solution in silence."

"Where do burgers go when they die? Burgatory"

"Until you've thrown up peanut butter and jelly onto an 8 year old at the beach on a Sunday, don't talk to me about your ""drinking problems."""

"I'm not taking the Democrat convention seriously until someone starts talking to a table."

"I reached blindly inside my cavernous mom bag for a lip balm and I touched something I didn't recognize. Go on without me."