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Joke of the Day

"I reached blindly inside my cavernous mom bag for a lip balm and I touched something I didn't recognize. Go on without me."

"Boss rushes frantically into manager's office... ""Hey, have you been screwing my assistant?"" ""No!"" ""Great! Then YOU fire her."""

"What do you call a broken statue with nice tits? A busted busty bust."

"What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways? He died on the cross!"

"Why do pediatricians get so frustrated? They have very little patients."

"Send a guy to the grocery store without a list, and you deserve whatever you get."

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

"Jeopardy is petty. If you asked someone ""What is snow?"" No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this."

"I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!"

"Where do psychics go to dance? The crystal ball"