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Joke of the Day

"I'm not taking the Democrat convention seriously until someone starts talking to a table."

"Inspirational Tweet: Found the sock gone missing 7 weeks ago in today's clean laundry. Sometimes they come back, people. Keep the faith."

"Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community. Their new mints are bi-curiously strong."

"Rihanna's new clothes. Chris Brown is in the news again. At a popular club downtown he apparently got drunk and started shouting ""I'm gonna beat Rihanna till she's gold and white""."

"Mother: ""Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."" Girl: ""I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."""

"They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said ""My HMO doesn't cover residential treatment."""

"So I read the dictionary the other day. Turns out the zebra did it."

"My new favorite joke [Language] How do you get a little old lady to yell, ""Go fuck yourself!""? Get another little old lady to yell,""BINGO!"""

"My college advisor asked me if I've ever been abroad Nope, I've been a man my whole life."

"Why do abusive clowns make good comedians? They just hit you funny."