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Joke of the Day

"Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit? Underlay! Underlay!"

"People always demand to know who farted as if they'll decide how disgusted to be based on who's responsible."

"Mother in law found me... On the twitter This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours. I'm so sorry"

"Staying at my daughter's place again this weekend. Can't wait till 3am so I can wake her to tell her there's a moth in my room."

"A man goes to the gas station ... and ask the guy who works there: ""How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?"" The boy stumbles: ""Well euhm ... nothing I guess."" ""Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"""

"Sure she mainly used knife emojis but at least she replied to your text."

"Contents of my wallet just spilled all over the cashier's counter, so embarrassing, spiders everywhere."

"""Pornography has really damaged the way you view sex,"" exclaimed my girlfriend, ""I've had enough, I'm leaving."" I said, ""Before you go, can we fuck on the snooker table while your Grandad watches?"""

"How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts to fit in your wife's clothes"