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Joke of the Day

"[Walking around the office] *Sees nosepicker* *Hears burper* *Smells gas* Boss: What are you doing? Calculating the...""Gross Margin."""

"I just had a pervert audition to be the singer in my Paul Simon tribute band He sang ""50 ways to love your lever"""

"Talking about me behind my back? Good. My ass likes attention."

"What's the #1 song in Ukraine? Crimea River"

"I would tell you a joke about Jehovah witness But nobody likes Knock-Knock jokes, *Oops the title was meant to say ""Jehovah witnesses"""

"my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we've never met"

"Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower The rest 2% have never been to prison."

"How does a man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it"

"Male secretary : ""Feel free to use my dictaphone."" New blonde employee : ""No thanks I'll just use my finger like everyone else."""

"Life is a lot like a piece of toilet paper. You're either on a roll, or you're taking shit from some asshole."