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Joke of the Day

"A money-hungry man opted to change his name And the Rich get Richard"

"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."

"A Priest and a Rabbi observe a 10-year old boy walking down the street. Priest: Wanna fuck him? Rabbi: Out of what?"

"So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her."

"WAITER: can i take your order? HER: *looks at lobster tank* i'll take that one ME: *looks out window* i'll take that pigeon"

"What do you call a trespassing camper? Criminal intent"

"Did you hear about the writer who brought peace to the Middle East? He had a way with Kurds."

"[counseling] She gets angry a lot ""He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere"" YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN"

"A Higgs boson enters a church And the priest says, ""I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"" The Higgs replies, ""but without me, you can't have mass"""

"I made a list of my favorite asses... It's a big ass list."