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Joke of the Day

"WAITER: can i take your order? HER: *looks at lobster tank* i'll take that one ME: *looks out window* i'll take that pigeon"

"Sushi A and Sushi B Q: What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? A: WASSUP B?"

"Mini M&M's - for when you just can't finish an entire M&M"

"A prostitute got a tramp stamp It said ""tips appreciated"""

"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."

"[a guy tries to stab me] ""at least buy me dinner first"""

"How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? In Soviet Russia, lightbulb screws YOU!"

"I never would've noticed that you removed me as a friend, until you tried to add me back."

"['90s] I just got a new computer. It's called ""The Tyson."" It comes with two bytes and no memory."

"When I see a door with the sign 'Door Alarmed' I always tell the door ""don't worry, it's only me"" ~ It's all about the empathy."