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Joke of the Day

"Laugh at something on your phone and wait for me to ask what it is. See your grandchildren grow old. Witness the death of the sun."

"A guy sees his dad has a black eye - Hey, Dad. Why do you have a black eye? - You'll have two if you leave your girlfriend's underwear in my car one more time!"

"A GIRL SAID.... TODAYS JOKES..A GIRL SAID TRUST ME....LOL"

"Told my kids to get rid of toys they don't play with, so if you hear a commotion it's just them desperately playing with every toy they own."

"Did you hear about Vivaldi's finances? He was one Baroque mother fucker"

"What did the lonely ghost do at 2 in the morning? He made a booo-ty call"

"what's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are $1.69 and deer nuts are under a buck"

"What's Al Qaida's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say ""You haven't seen The Wire?"" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying."

"What is Oscar Pistorius's new favourite band? Bullets For My Valentine"