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Joke of the Day

"A Higgs boson enters a church And the priest says, ""I'm sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons in churches"" The Higgs replies, ""but without me, you can't have mass"""

"If you're a Mormon, and you have a mom, and you haven't been referring to her exclusively as Mitt Momney...then why the hell are you Mormon?"

"So a vegan crossfitter and a homophobic priest simultaneously walk in to a bar.. Then they both went to the hospital for head wounds."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? You don't know...? Oh.. Man, that's lame."

"If y is dependent upon x, that means y is determined by x. So we could call y the determinant. If that's true, then we can call x Arnold... because it's de-terminator. Heh."

"What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh"

"What do you call an extremely flamboyant loaf of bread? A faggette"

"What did the Arab land his 747? The tarmac, you racist."

"WAITER: How is everything? ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt"

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 13 years!"